Today is Mardi Gras and I have many thoughts running through my mind. I am 5 months pregnant with a 6 year old and very soon to be 3 year old running my life. I love it, but definitely feel the impact of having two children while working on growing the third. It is hard work that comes with a tremendous amount of guilt. I thought when I stopped working that I would feel less guilty because I would have so much more time. However, I have not stopped working completely, I just do different work that allows me to still be with my children and not away, but I don't work any less. I also find myself spending a great deal of time cleaning and organizing the messes that my children have made. While, they work with me and also have responsibilities another mess is made shortly after, that takes twice as long. This is an endless battle. I feel guilty that my children are not eating as healthy as I would like for them to, that I am not spending quality time with them, I worry that this third child will take even more time away from them (I know this in fact). It is my intention to raise healthy, hard working, intelligent, citizens of the word that want to make a positive difference in the world and that pressure also weighs heavily on my conscience.
Now my 3 year old has just entered the room yelling uppy and pushing in the keyboard. As I started with, running my life. I have to end now...total loss of concentration. I have wanted to start this blog for years and I am glad that I have even though it is full of ramblings for now.
